Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
