On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Randomize
