I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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