Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
