Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
