i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize