we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm passing your future prison.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
