i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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