I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
