Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
