While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He's on the porch naked. Help.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
