I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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