tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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