I want to walk on stilts...naked
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I intend to get homeless drunk
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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