We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
