I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
