i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
