Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
