We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
