Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize