that's an acceptable place to lick
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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