im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
