All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
kristin has been a bad kristin
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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