the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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