maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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