It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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