Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

The maid of honor just puked.

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(415): View more from California

just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation

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(954): View more from Florida

i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

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(828): View more from North Carolina

there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.

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(817): View more from Texas

how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.

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(863): View more from Florida

You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.

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