I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Terrible idea I love it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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