I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
