I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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