im gay
i know
yea but for you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
