But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
