She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
