is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Randomize
