She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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