____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
