we're chasing vodka with high fives
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
