do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
