your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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