you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
