He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize