So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
