some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
