My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
