so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize