great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize