Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just pee around me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
