She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
