Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize