so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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