:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just forgot I was standing up.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
