if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
