i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
