real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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