so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
