The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize