I hate all girls vehemently.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize