I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
