Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
