their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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