I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
