Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
