So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
