He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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