At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
