when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
