Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
