Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize