somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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