The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
