There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
and you fell through a lawn chair
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
