She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
