i may or may not be watching the land before time
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
His nipple licking is glorious
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
