I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
