Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
