I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
