I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize